Life Drama and Art

I feel like I am creating unneccessary drama. With a person like me how can I seperate the way my brain processes my everyday life and perception of things and my imagination? OR are they the same? I think when yu opporate using your conscience mind
then the drama you see in everybody else's life sparks the imagination. But If I stay in consistant "love" and "light" mode with myself
I turn my thoughts inward and focus only on how I can give best to my family and my friends, which means I go right back to
doing things I dont want to do half the time instead of my art. My art usually has to take second seat here. Not fair for me in this respect. This is why I have to go far away so I dont have to do everything around here for everybody. If I dont do it, and everybody sees me doing my own thing I am critisized and belittled to the point that my head begins to swell up. My heart closes up too, so the artwork becomes tainted I feel. But perhaps its the reailty of that moment in my life, so I should not call it tainted. I should just go with it and soon my life will change and my art will become what I want it too. Life and Artwork. Light and color. Its all the same I guess.